The reckoning is what feels like your life is in total utter deconstruction

being bulldozed

like what is going on

break down

dry valley desert slow isolated fighting forcing struggle surviving suffering second guessing starting over again and again and again

the discouragement

all the inner demons popping up in broad daylight

the doubt the despair

the getting up and trying again and again and getting knocked back down

it's the building of that resiliency that brings you to your revival

the reckoning is your revival

the reckoning is necessary

it is required

it is the key to entry

it is the number one core class you have to take in order to have your revival

to be reborn

to have that revolution in your life

to rise up

to become someone new

to decide to make new choices

to overcome what's happening

what's going on

to create new standards for yourself

to decide your non negotiables

to finally face up to what you will and will not tolerate anymore

it is necessary

the reckoning is your revival

the reckoning is all of the rain and the floods and the Tornadoes and the Hurricanes and the earthquakes and the fires and the floods and all the wind and the lightning and the Thunder

it is everything you don't want but need in order to grow

to shine

that is your revival

without that you can't see

you can't take another step

everything's too clouded

it's too muddy

it's too mucky

there's too much fog

there's too much brush - too much forest in your way and your machete isn't sharp enough to forge a new path

you have to have that deconstruction

that devastation in order to be revived

to get that fresh air that oxygen that energy that fresh fire that relief

and not just that triage Band-Aid relief

but that surgery relief

that final relief

that this is it relief

that I don't have to come back here anymore

ever again relief

that crying

that impressive Oh my God finally yes that relief

but you have to go through the reckoning to get it

 

the reckoning is the pain and the heartache and the adversity

it is the job loss

it is the denial

the rejection

the abandonment

the closed door the closed door the closed door the closed door

it is the nothing

it is the crickets

it is the again and again and again of the silence that causes so much noise in your head

you don't know where to go

what to do

where to turn

good maybe she just pulled up in the driveway alright but somehow you keep going somehow there's a pull somehow

there's something that keeps getting you up every day

is it hope

is it God

is it faith

is it the unseen

is it the universe

is it your soul

is your spirit

is it your heart

is it your gut

is it your fortitude

is it your faith

is it your fight

is it what happened to you

YES

it is all of the things

it is everything

and it is nothing

it is you knowing that you can't stay where you are

that you are meant for more

that you are built for more

that you're made for more

that you can do more

that you can intensify

that you can take another step

that you can get back up

that you can take another hit and gut punch and a hook and a jab a jab a jab across the face

and that you can do it again and again with a bloody lip

that you can lose a tooth or two

that you can bust open your hand

that you can skin your knees

that you can get in the dirt underneath your fingernails

because you know that eventually you can rise up and stand naked and vulnerable and open to the world and get hosed off and do it again and again and again until there is nothing left of you except you

completely and wholly revived with none of that on you anymore

and it's light and it's free and it's easy and it's liberating and it's an awakening and it's a rise

and then you get to start and you get to live unapologetically

no guilt

No Fear

no shame

it's all gone

left behind

you're sanctified

you're purified

for real this time

all of the prayers

all of the grace

all of the grit

all of the guts

all of the God that you say you have had - YOU have never had it like this is before

this is different

this is new

this is the revival

but you don't get it without the reckoning

you don't get it without the reckoning

you gotta be able to take it and you gotta be able to get back up

you gotta be able to know when to move

when to take your opportunities

you can't sit in it

rise up today

the reckoning is your revival

if you want the revival

keep moving through your reckoning

keep moving

take an edge

take a step

take a mile

do whatever you can do

knowing that tomorrow you're gonna get up and you're gonna do it again

 endlessly enduring knowing that it's ongoing undone

only unfolding for you

and isn't that beautiful

that's not tiring

that doesn't feel exhausting

that feels freeing and liberating

because you're OK with it

because there's no other choice

because staying here is not acceptable anymore

the reckoning is your revival

get up today and fight for it

take your sword

stand up

train up

and go to war with yourself.

 

Author Robyn Lynn Tanner