I bought sunflower seeds for 74 cents two months ago

They came with easy no-kill-anyone-can-do-this directions

firmly telling me I had a limited amount of time to plant the seeds

how deep the hole in the soil needed to be 

how often to water 

and when I should expect them to bloom 

75-90 days

was all it would take

except they sat on my kitchen counter for 2 months

which set me back 60 days

adding unnecessary delay to the beauty I initially invested in 

when I finally planted them on Mother's Day

(because it seemed like a fun motherly thing to do on that kind of hallmark holiday I loathe) 

The whole process took my kids and me a whole whopping 10 minutes to dig, plant, cover & water the potential in their tiny black seeds

now all I had to do was water daily, watch & wait 

 ...

last week, I saw baby blooms 

today I saw taller, thicker healthier blooms 

they were smiling at me 

...

so why did I delay 

why did I put off the task 

which was way less monumental than it seemed in my mind 

and especially in my kids eye-rolling do we have to do this now when I dragged them outside 

...

why do we all wait 

why do we think we have more time than we do 

why do put off the very thing we say we want 

what is the payoff in the delay

 ???

Watering them today I nearly became frustrated with the watering hose

the water was faint

only a trickle came down

I looked for the kink 

but I couldn't see one

I pulled and tug at the hose anyways

still nothing 

the water dripped and I thought I'll be here all day at this rate 

then I noticed a little knob 

it blended in with the nozzle

I overlooked it at first 

anyone would

right?

I turned it 

but nothing 

I turned it again 

still nothing 

fuck this - most think 

yet I stayed firm 

turning it back the other way 

still nothing 

WTF - Come on 

not today  

then with one final turn water flowed full throttle   

feeding my sunflowers 

and relaxing the tension rising inside me 

...

sometimes we are too close 

zoomed in 10x scrutinizing our lives 

we tire too easily 

we give up one turn too soon 

we stand impatient yet hopeful beating our heads against the wall 

turning a blind eye 

or praying without works 

...

we delay because we think it'll be harder than it is 

we delay because we think we will get around to it 

one day 

we delay because we underestimate the power of our inner patience and power and persistence

which is so worth the pay-off waiting on the other side of our investment

...

my sunflowers had a small window of time to plant 

they have a small window to bloom

but once bloomed

they will go where the sun goes 

they will feed from the light of the darkness they were once buried in 

and they will thrive because I'll show up for them day after day 

...

find your kinks

discover your hidden knobs

adjust the pressure 

up or down 

know your window 

and dig in 

...

life is waiting for you on the other side of everything you want to plant

but aren't willing to water 

By: Robyn Tanner 2024